no need

now, the last thing i need is 1) compliments negating this blog or 2) people thinking that i'm fishing for compliments. i'm really just saying what's on my mind. people either agree with me, or disagree with me.

there are two worlds. the world of naivety and the world of reality.

1) the world of naivety
this world always says that beauty is not skin deep. everyone is beautiful in their own special way. no one is similar and that is what makes them beautiful, no matter what kind of body type they have, or what kind of face, or whatever.

i used to believe this. i guess i really wanted to believe that everyone is beautiful.

2) the world of reality
in reality, all of that "everybody is beautiful" is just a load of crap. only a small percentage of people are beautiful, and most of that percentage are celebrities. the only reason i say this is because society makes the world this way. society says, skinny, tall, flawless skin, big eyes, perfect face, healthy, long hair, and what not is beautiful. i am by no means any of those. i'm 5'4 (so i guess i'm considered on the shorter side), i weight 120 something pounds (definitely not considered the beautiful "skinny"), i have a few pimples, and blackheads on my face, i have small, chinky eyes (well i am asian after all), my hair is shoulder length and a mess all the time, and there is so much more that is considered "unattractive" in society's eyes. in reality, i'm a fat, ugly little asian bitch.

actually, two of my guy friends pointed out that i have so much "potential". according to them, if i lost about 10 pounds, i would be beautiful and every guy would fall for me. at first, i was pissed that they would say that, and then i realized that they're right. if i were more "beautiful" than more guys would like me. but there is a very small group of people that really don't care about appearance. these people are generally called "ugly" people. i guess i'm categorizing myself with ugly people and oddly enough, i'm not upset. why? because i'm ugly and i'm really okay with that.