no need

now, the last thing i need is 1) compliments negating this blog or 2) people thinking that i'm fishing for compliments. i'm really just saying what's on my mind. people either agree with me, or disagree with me.

there are two worlds. the world of naivety and the world of reality.

1) the world of naivety
this world always says that beauty is not skin deep. everyone is beautiful in their own special way. no one is similar and that is what makes them beautiful, no matter what kind of body type they have, or what kind of face, or whatever.

i used to believe this. i guess i really wanted to believe that everyone is beautiful.

2) the world of reality
in reality, all of that "everybody is beautiful" is just a load of crap. only a small percentage of people are beautiful, and most of that percentage are celebrities. the only reason i say this is because society makes the world this way. society says, skinny, tall, flawless skin, big eyes, perfect face, healthy, long hair, and what not is beautiful. i am by no means any of those. i'm 5'4 (so i guess i'm considered on the shorter side), i weight 120 something pounds (definitely not considered the beautiful "skinny"), i have a few pimples, and blackheads on my face, i have small, chinky eyes (well i am asian after all), my hair is shoulder length and a mess all the time, and there is so much more that is considered "unattractive" in society's eyes. in reality, i'm a fat, ugly little asian bitch.

actually, two of my guy friends pointed out that i have so much "potential". according to them, if i lost about 10 pounds, i would be beautiful and every guy would fall for me. at first, i was pissed that they would say that, and then i realized that they're right. if i were more "beautiful" than more guys would like me. but there is a very small group of people that really don't care about appearance. these people are generally called "ugly" people. i guess i'm categorizing myself with ugly people and oddly enough, i'm not upset. why? because i'm ugly and i'm really okay with that.

why essays are inefficient

essay will never make any sense to me. it is so much easier to explain things in person. for example, in my english class, i am writing a paper comparing dr jekyll and mr hyde to the threepenny opera. in my head it is so easy to explain why these books are similar, but when i start writing nothing makes sense anymore. i have been working on a paragraph for the past hour and it still sounds terrible. essays are a waste of time. i could get so much more done if i were to have an oral presentation for this class. screw you essays

telephone

whatever happened to just calling a person just to hear about their day? everything is based off of text and chat now. don't get me wrong, text and chat is so convenient, but sometimes i want to hear your voice. your voice is comforting to me. sometimes i want to just call and ask how your day was or hear about your life. sometimes i want you to call me to ask how my day was. i even enjoy silences on the phone because i know you're still there. i don't want a call everyday, i just want to know that you care. but i guess some people are too busy to check.

oh my my

as so much has happened to me at ucd, i'm surprised my mind hasn't literally exploded. there is nothing to complain about. i love it here. but there were a few times that i wanted to punch some people in the throat. (i also want to kick the common cold's ass). i don't even know where i want to go with this blog...there is a lot that has been inspiring me lately.

1) N.A.S.A (ft Kanye West, Santagold and Lykke Li) - Gifted
jeez, i know i'm really late on this (stop drinking that haterade!) but i really love this song. i feel like this would be the theme song playing in the backround when i'm about to verbally abuse the crap out of someone and completely break down their ego. (how do i post music on here now?!)

2) i don't even know how to describe this picture. but i think the picture really is worth a thousand words.



to be continued...

beloved

Dear beloved Bejeweled,

I hate that I love you so much. Because of your addicting ways, I never do my work, but I love you too much to stop. Oh the dilemmas.

Love,
The Bejeweled Player

Dear...

Dear room 325 of the Pierce M building,

I hate that you smell disgusting. Why must it smell like ramen and febreeze. Granted, I did eat ramen in here, but still. STOP SMELLING SO BAD!

Love,
The Resident

where am i?

soompi forums isn't working right now.



I'M SO LOST WITHOUT SOOMPI FORUMS!!!